Relay for the LIFE of those you love.

CLICK HERE TO MAKE A DONATION TO MY RELAY FOR LIFE TEAM

OK, I know this is a post asking for money, but I promise it's for the cause that we all know is near and dear to our hearts. Cancer is a devastating and heartbreaking illness that can be further researched and curable if we just keep trying. PLEASE please please donate whatever you can to my team at UP and all the proceeds go straight to the American Cancer Association. It only takes a second to donate, and it means so much. If you want a gold star for today, this is it.

Have a great hump day!!!

In case you want to become a more educated citizen:

9 out of 10 Americans are completely wrong about this mind blowing fact

Here is a chilling account of some of the statistics and facts that you may or may not be aware of. Take it for what it's worth to you, but I find this another disturbing account on the extremely unfair wealth disparity in a country that has a crazy amount of money. America is full of paradox's, this video exemplifying one of the worst. (Buckets of money in this country....but almost 40% of our citizens don't have a living wage or are just barely scraping by...people are starving on the streets, but 1/3 of Americans are overweight or obese...ok I just threw that one in there)
Is the dream of an unregulated free market in America truly worth the suffering of the people living in its borders? I'm not insinuating anything, just asking a question for us all to reflect upon. Nobody said I'm an expert. Stay informed!

A

For now, collaboration of stories.

Hello you! I have been inspired to begin my spastic and not so consistent blogging again. I don't know about you, but I am pretty damn excited about it. I almost feel like I have no choice to begin again, as so much happens in life that I want to share with someone, and all too often there is no one around. I feel that every day there is so much beauty and opportunities to learn something new. I hope to, eventually, collaborate enough stories and things I've written down on paper into a more coherent and understandable collection or (amateur) book. But for now, all my prior and future posts will be whatever is going on presently, so that the full effect is emphasized.

Recently, the theme that keeps repeating itself in my life is the idea of the finite-ness of our lives. Yes, death has been on my mind, but NOT LIKE THAT. Jeesh, people. Step outside the box of stereotyping those who think about death as gothic or depressed. What I mean by finite-ness is how at any moment, our life could come to an end: BUT rather than looking at that as a dismal, depressing, or far off notion, I am beginning to see it as a very positive thing. The contrast of death and life makes our lives much more meaningful. Or, it gives us an opportunity to make a choice on how we are going to live the one life we've got. By realizing and being fully aware of our vulnerability and the inevitableness of death, we can choose to life live in a different, more thrilling and exciting way. A sense of desperation hits,when death is looked at more realistically than passively, that sends us chasing after our dreams that we hold off "until we are older" and doing the things we truly want to do, rather than wasting time as if we have an infinite amount. It feels as if my eyes have been opened to a thousand new possibilities for the purpose and meaning for my life. I am in control, (for the most part) and I get to make my own decisions! And, since I believe in God, I have amazing and unconditional guidance to help me when I feel lost (On the daily) and push me when I feel lethargic. Too often we go about our days, and forget what we even did by the end. I've had more than enough of that. I want to live an authentic, substantial and funtastic life. (Yes, funtastic, fun and fantastic..)

Before I go any further, I must note that a lot of this post was inspired by certain philosophers I have been learning about in my Ethics class. Heidegger and Sartre are two of the main ones who believe in authenticity and humans creating their own meaning in life. If you know of these men, don't get me wrong, there is much I am critical about in terms of their ideas. However, their point on creating meaning for yourself and living an authentic life has been very profound to me. Authenticity means believing in something strongly, making a decision, and accepting the responsibility that comes with the decision you made. For instance, if you believe strongly enough that you've been wronged by a professor or teacher at your school, you will act upon that feeling by either reporting or bringing it to the attention of some authority figure, such as the principle. However, you must also be willing to face the repercussions of this action, by all the exhausting and time consuming steps that might follow. You see, it isn't easy living an authentic life. It's very hard to stand up for what you believe in a world where so many constructions are already made, and seem to be set in stone. But what the philosophers want to say is that what is the point in life, if you don't reflect or think critically upon your actions and the actions of others? If you just go about your days, not asking questions, not being critical of what people tell you is right/wrong, etc. In my opinion, we have forgotten that we have control over ourselves and our own lives. Yes, the world has many limitations and seemingly concrete ways of doing things, but we can either wake up every morning (or night, if that's your thing) and look at that in the perspective of, "I don't belong here, this world is too messed up, I'm not smart enough, skinny enough, brave enough, good enough, normal enough..." OR, you can look at it in terms of creating your own meaning. So, you can see the meaning that has been constructed by many, critically reflect upon it, and then YOU have the power to go from there, make your own decisions, act, and be responsible for your own actions. You can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You can't assume responsibility for your countries actions, or even those in your community. You can, however, control what YOU do and how YOU act and what YOU stand up for. This is amazing to me.
JUST TO NOTE a few of these examples came from my Ethics professor, Dr. Askay at University of Portland.

Well, hopefully I will be back soon to blog some more. There have been so many things I want to write about, which gives me hope for this world, during a time of confusion and controversy world wide. (Have you been up to date on the news???) I don't know about you but I'm sick of hearing about the sequester and all the bitter arguing going on in Washington. Come on, people. This is so ridiculous. It's the 21st century for damns sake. Ok the hosh posh in politics is a whole different blog post so I'll just hold off.

Thanks for reading through this, those of you who made it!

A

Thankful for inspiring blog posts of others to inspire one of my own.

What if we were “set free” so to speak, from societal standards, expectations of one another, and insecurities that we feel due to social pressures, etc.? I was just reading a wonderful friend of mines blog and it made me think of this. How amazing and life changing would it be to act independent of others around you-and not in an unrealistic way, but I mean how absolutely empowering would it be to live life free from all of that? Isn’t that what Christians see from Jesus? Jesus lives for God, and for us, but in a way that is less common in society. The way that Jesus was as a person was a beautiful example of the life we could live, and how wonderful that would be. Jesus lived FOR us, and he died FOR our sins. He was laughed at, ridiculed, spat upon, kicked, joked about, betrayed, denied, hated, scorned, out casted, beat up, arrested....and eventually tortured to death, all for the purpose that he believed in with his whole heart. He believed that humanity shouldn’t have to be burdened with the weight of their sins, of their mistakes, of their short-comings, of their relentless pride. Because, as we are all fully and painfully aware, we ALL fall short. Perfection doesn’t exist. And Jesus was the kind of man who loved with his whole heart, who cared for people just because. He acted justly, loved mercy, and walked humbly with God. What set him apart from other men claiming to be God wasn’t his prophetic fulfillment or his seemingly miraculous spiritual and physical healings. What made his followers start to believe that this man really is from God, was his least supernatural actions of all; his desire, willingness, and ability to forgive people left and right. This was extremely uncommon for his time-In Judaism, rabbi’s were strict on never saying to someone, “You are forgiven” because that would imply they know Gods will. All of a sudden, here comes this man who is forgiving the worst of the sinners ( like tax collectors and prostitutes ) and even inviting them over to have dinner with him. These sort of actions and beliefs that Jesus had are remarkable and inspiring. I don’t know who wouldn’t want to live like that. At least for me, I want to strive to be like that. I want to not allow people to feel alone if I can help it. I want to be kind, merciful and act with justice in my heart. I want to feel the presence of God in my actions, pushing me forward towards a fulfilling life. So you see, the more we try and be like Jesus, the more we use his actual example of how to live rather than taking it surface level, the less we will be bound by societal standards, expectations and insecurities. You don’t have to have previous religious interest or experience to learn from the historical Jesus, but I’m telling you, one of the best parts you’ll realize if you start to study him is that he not only wants to help the people of his time, but he wants to help you, right where you’re at no matter where it is, and the coolest part about it all is that there is always hope with God, and that is something I firmly believe in.

The first in a very, very, very, long time...but completely worthy of posting.

No I have not edited, spell checked, refined or made more concise this post. It was written after feeling suddenly compelled post-theology class. Please take the time to read, but don't feel defensive or anything if you feel I've offended your lifestyle. This isn't meant to hurt anyones feelings-try to look at it from a more macro perspective. Thanks. Today, I’m reminded of how important it is to not forget the past. How important it has been proven to be aware of the capability to commit evil, horrendous acts that humans have. Sometimes, we get pushed to what seems like the edge-about to snap at any given moment-completely denature the values that we thought were so grounded in our very being. People often lose sight of the bigger picture when going about their daily, busy lives. I wish people would open up their eyes instead of becoming a robotic, desensitized human being. I wish it were more common nature to ask ourselves reflective questions such as, Why am I here? And what do I want to accomplish in life,learn, and leave behind? In our Judaism unit in theology today, we finally touched on contemporary Jewish culture. So much of the contemporary beliefs and traditions in Judaism were affected by the most tragic and inhumane act of evil in human history; the Holocaust. 12 million people killed, of which 6 million were Jews. Those numbers are so staggering, so ineffable, that we don’t know how to wrap our minds around them. The danger is that we are desensitized to the numbers-but number represents a person. A person who died a horrible, undeserving, indescribably awful death. A person who’s family was affected by the devastating loss of a loved one just for being themselves. So really, each person represents a group of people. And this is why 6 million Jews murdered is almost impossible for anyone to understand; I know my generation really struggles with it. The tragedy of this event in history can not EVER be forgotten, or skipped over in history/theology/literature classes of any time. Especially now, when the last survivors are passing away. Watch a documentary now and talk about it with your friends, just to re address it. It's up to all of us now to never, ever, let anyone forget. The importance of remembering this event can not be stressed enough-looking around, I see people doing horrible things to each other. I see people also making things worse for themselves by identifying their situation as horrible-but we have the power to control how we feel. This is one of the reasons psychology interests me so much (may seem random). The human mind is amazing! But we can’t let it believe that we are in an awful situation when we’re not, and that we’re in a normal situation when in fact it is horrible and needs to change. That’s the adaptive strength of our brains that could be called an “error”-the plasticity of our brains is such that if we complain enough, or tell ourselves enough that our lives suck and we’re hopeless, that is the reality for you. And the reverse is true as well-if we pretend everything is ok when, to an outsider, it is CLEARLY not, we will adapt to that reality. Keeping things in perspective is so telling to how we will feel. Being a freshman in college with very few people I knew before this year, I spend a lot of time alone in crowded places. I over hear things like “My week was brutal, how was yours?” and “This test is going to slaughter me”, and my favorite (not really) “I just need this week to end” (When it’s only Monday). You see, we lose sight of the gift of life, and how every single day we are given is not gaurenteed. We are at risk for forgetting history-the blood that was spilled for our freedoms, the tragedy of genocide, rape, torture, segregation, racism, sexism, discrimination, etc. These things are very real and can not EVER be ignored. I’m not saying spend every second thinking about these things, but as a college student, I know that most of us are trying to figure out what the hell to do with the rest of our lives. Well for starters, let’s be thankful for the opportunity to choose, and go from there. I know that I never want to look back and think, “I wish I did more to help.” Or “I wish I had done something to change that”. Another thing. We are our biggest limitation. By this I mean that we set rules for ourselves that are complete fabrications of our own minds. Things like “this week I just want to get these tests over with and be done with it so I can relax on the weekend”. These things are so micro level and bypass ALL the capability/opportunity for that week. In a single week, a lot can happen. And for the majority of it, it is up to you to make something happen. We can not become passive people, passive to our OWN lives. Who wants to live a boring life? A good life doesn’t mean one filled with personal happiness. Sometimes the most rewarding things are the hardest ones to do and get through. Tough times are what shape our character. The best things in life are not free-we have to work at them, experience, be vulnerable, suffer, and learn in order to really get some of the most important lessons out of life. This may seem a little bit extreme, but people often don’t listen to things unless they stand out. My point is this-after re-addressing the holocaust for the first time since my history class in high school, I’ve been reminded at how much capability humans have for evil. Other things stemmed from that of which I touched on, but that was the main realization. BUT there is hope, because just as we are capable to do evil, we are capable to do much, much more good. The struggle is finding it within ourselves to believe that we can actually do it. We can rise above the evil in this world and be triumphant. It is also much more beneficial to society, in terms of spreading this goodness, if we work together. Community is what will get our country, states, cities, and people through these hard times. What won’t get us through these times is trying to force each other that what specific individuals believe is better than what others believe. We MUST accept differences in people. People are born to be different. If we weren’t, we would all look the same and act the same. But there are too many things that affect a persons personality, beliefs, habits, characteristics, lifestyles, hobbies, weaknesses, strengths, religious opinions, etc. Once we establish a general respect for difference, diversity, in our culture, we will finally be able to truly, not artificially, work together for a purpose aside from our own selfish desires. A purpose that will benefit everyone-not just a select few. We will work, together, to finally bring an end to the tragedies that are prevalent all around us such as hunger, homelessness, discrimination, and political disputes that cause breaks in society’s. Just like we learned in PRE SCHOOL, We (ALL of us) must learn to get along with one another if we want progress towards a more peaceful, loving, just, kind, and humble world. This was a ramble but I needed to get this out onto something. By the way, the quotes I used about people complaining were mostly ones I’ve said. We are all to blame, and all must re assess our behaviors and attitudes on a DAILY basis..

Inspired once again.

So I just got back from the Wild Canyon Games, hosted at Creekside lodge and Washington family ranch by Antelope, Oregon. These games help promote money for four distinct charities chosen by the founders of WCG. Teams from all over the country travel there in groups of around 10 or less, to compete in extremely physically and mentally demanding events. Some of these activities include geo cashing, which is almost like hide and seek on steroids across mountains and rivers, a 10k, ropes course, long distance sprints, biking contests, mountain biking, long distance swims, quick swims, relays, etc. These people vary from always living an extremely fit and active life style to just wanting to see what they are capable of. I volunteered there this weekend, and I got to serve a few tables of active military men who were sponsored to take part in these events. They were so grateful for my service, but honestly, being able to serve people who have dedicated their entire lives to protect this country was one of the biggest honors I have experienced in my life so far. As a volunteer, I served in the dining hall and got to feed and clean up after around 1000 people. Waking up early to prepare and going to bed late to finish up was hard on all of our bodies, but it taught us a miniature lesson of what all the competitors exemplified. It is hard for people to realize what they are capable of, whether it’s good or bad. Naturally, it seems we don’t have enough confidence to do something big or something that might impact a lot of people even if it is an extremely good thing. Our actions also effect others in ways that we don’t understand. The smallest of actions can make the biggest differences in peoples lives. If you enable something to happen, to me, that’s just as harmful as doing it yourself. Why not utilize our time to the fullest in order to get the most out of life? I keep being lucky enough to have these experiences such as volunteering at WCG where I get to see the human capacity for good and joy. At WCG, disabled veterans and athletes got a chance to compete and blow everyones mind when it came to how much they accomplished in a single weekend. Since nobody who was serving them was getting paid, everyone knew that we wanted to be there. That made them happy and always allowed room for conversation between volunteers and competitors. I had a fantastic weekend learning and growing and seeing people from all over the world participating in something that was genuinely just good, healthy, and untampered by societal depressants such as phones, TV, politics, etc. Sometimes, we all need a little reminder of what the bigger picture is, and how much we are truly capable of.

Forgot to post this-INSPIRED BY A FRIEND

To even begin to comprehend the conversation I just had with one of my closest friends, Haley, kind of gives me a headache (to be honest). The reason why that is, has to do with the level of incredibility and ridiculousness of the realizations that just hit me during this unplanned and totally random discussion. God works in the craziest ways sometimes, which brings me to my first realization... While I was thinking about how Haley and I became friends, I started tying together all the events and people that led up to us meeting and slowly becoming sisters. The first is that her step mom was my parents new interior designer. Next, since her last name is Atterbury, she just happened to be in my advisory. Also, I had always admired her from afar because she is so beautiful and just has this demeanor about her that I can explain. Finally, the fact that God somehow led her to go to Malibu camp last summer where I was a student leader, just was the jackpot. We became almost instant best friends. Along with Kendall, another one of my closest and dearest friends, God brought Haley into my life. He did this for a specific and completely purposeful reason. Ever since we became close, amazing and incomprehensible things have been happening in each of our lives. My prayers have been answered, and my relationship with God has strengthened a TON. God uses us, together, to create a more meaningful and exciting and fulfilling life-and we seem to miss this every day! We don’t realize JUST how much he has planned-ALL of the insane opportunities that are waiting for us. Tonight, something became extremely clear to me in that we are all sooo special and unique and have a relationship with God where he listens to JUST us. It’s my relationship, and it’s someone else's totally separate relationship. We need to keep perspective to stay sane in this world where so many awful things are happening all the time. We also need to USE what God has given us, utilize the fact that we were born in the suburbs of Portland Oregon into a middle class family. On my way home I visualized a teenage girl, just like me, somewhere far off in the world just crying out to God for help, and him replying that he has given a girl in Portland Oregon all the resources to help her and is just waiting for her to realize it. There is so much pain and destruction and sorrow and death and sadness in the world, that there is never a time when there is nothing to do. There is ALWAYS something to do. Those who wallow in their own self pity or complain about how they feel their life is stagnant really get to me. Look around. Not just in your own backyard, but in the world. We were not meant to be closed off in some caged bubble our whole lives. That’s not what life is about. It’s about finding something we truly believe in, the people who we really love, holding onto them, fighting for them, and doing everything you can to help them. BIGGER PICTURE needs to be everyones focus......whether that be in your own local community or across the entire world. hand cramp.

Officially a Portland Pilot

Pink Glove Dance; INSPIRED

MANY of you have probably already seen this video; I have now seen it a couple of times.  However, I had not seen the sequel to it until today.  This video inspired thousands of people in the medical field to dance and help support those who are suffering with breast cancer.  Here is the sequel from people all across America and into Canada.  This just made my afternoon.

Sometimes..

I feel that we don't take enough time out of the day to recognize and appreciate it's beauty. Today, I felt like I had rinsed out my eyes and all of a sudden I had perfect vision. This never happens, but today, (metaphorically speaking) I saw the world for, almost, its entire worth. Everything beautiful stuck out to me. Even the things that aren't commonly labeled as beautiful. The smallest acts of kindness softened my heart, and a nicely spoken word just calmed me down. I saw so many good things come out of so many good people. I noticed things I haven't noticed before, even in my own family. My dad wakes up every single morning, at 530 am, just to make me, an 18 year old, lunch. My mom comes home every day from work and makes me a snack without me asking. My dad also makes dinner every day after a long, 10 hour day. My friend yesterday came to my door while I was doing a load of hw with flowers for me, just because she thought I deserved them. Today, I had a friendly conversation with an old friend at an ice cream shop. Many, MANY other things happened that my fingers are just too tired to type.

Basically, I hope that I continue to see with this vision. It brightens my mood, boosts my spirits and inspires me to keep going. I feel more optimistic and motivated knowing that despite crisis, stress and over all hard times, there is good in ALL of us, and that good comes from the holy spirit. Thank you God for giving me this beautiful and purposeful life.