A change in the weather

Well folks, it's official. Halloween is no longer about trotting around my neighborhood, approaching every single door and reciting "trick or treat" to whoever opens. It's no longer about competing with my best friends on who got the most candy or the biggest chocolate bars. I didn't go shopping for a costume with my mom, and I didn't decorate too much either. There was little to no build up for today, and I carried on with my usual homework routine. Not all of these changes just happened for the first time this year, but I think the reason it hit me so hard is I didn't even hang out with my friends and watch a scary movie or go scare the little kids. Times are changing OFFICIALLY. I think my point is, that little things keep happening this year that remind me how quickly time passes. I will keep reiterating this, but I refuse to let time slip through my fingers anymore. If I could ask for anything right now, it would be the wisdom of using time to the best possible advantage.

What I ended up doing tonight was watching a very sick and twisted 1960's movie called Rosemary's Baby. Then I researched the producer and found out some very unsettling things. I advise you not to do this my friends. Sorry if I just planted a seed.

Goodnight and to those of you who still find it in your hearts to celebrate this holiday like it deserves, Happy Halloween :)

I'm really craving....

This latte from San Francisco

With these people. I love my family.

Prospecting

Well, It's official. All my college apps are done. The anticipation of waiting for the letters of acceptance/rejection have made me slightly on edge and inpatient recently. All I want is the finality of knowing where I will be spending the next 4 years of my life, and what I'll be doing. Like most prospective college students, I am beyond ready to leave my high school and begin fresh. Looking back, so much has happened these last few years in my life, and it's only been 4 years. Not only that, but I've been so limited because I'm young. Going to college will be such a liberating and intense experience. I know I overthink almost everything, but I'd say most high school seniors would agree with me when I say that I am ready to take on college and leave high school once and for all. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE me some Sunset Apollo pride. But it's definitely time to become more independent and grow.

Just incase you're curious, here are my top choices for schools:

My not so secret obsession

Blessed are the weak.

Tonight was an intensely bittersweet emotional roller coaster. I woke up this morning not realizing what I would be facing just 9 hours later. God works in fantastic mysterious ways my friends.

To unravel how I'm feeling, I'm going to start off by explaining the context. I went to Church tonight, as usual, feeling slightly off balance and edgy. Something was clearly stirring inside me, or rather itching at my skin. I wasn't sure what it was nor how to control it and frankly I still am unsure. After talking things out though with a friend, I think I've figured out the premise of my thoughts.

Now for the realization:
At an early age, I know what I'm head over heels crazy passionate about. I consider this a blessing. I've battled through my life towards this drive and emotional intensity that I am feeling now. My time and energy has been devoted to progress in the direction of my goals and hopes. Clearly, I feel strongly about something. What is it? My faith in Jesus. Not religion, Christianity, the church, my pastor, the bible, no. After tonight, it has been made clear to me! I really am just a disciple of Christ. Being a "Christian" has a lot of religious connotations such as organizations and institutions and critical beliefs. I really don't want to categorize myself anymore. But, now for the unsettling piece. Why don't I show it? Why don't I live, every single day, in awe of Jesus? To most people reading this, it may seem a bit extreme what I'm trying to say. But, if i'm on fire might as well be on fire for God right?? We are our harshest critics.

Anyway, Matthew15 is where the famous "salt & light" lies. I think the key aspect of that verse that people always miss out on is the context of it. Jesus is talking to all of the people with weak spirits, broken lives, empty pockets, diseases, scum of the earth. He tells THEM to be the salt and the light of the earth. He says GO NOW, and spread your light among the people in the world. Those are the people he is speaking to in the sermon on the mount. Not the rich, powerful, religious leaders who think that God "owes" them. (this is a direct message from what I received at Solid Rock tonight by the way, listen to the podcast on itunes)

Also, there's no such thing as a religious formula. No such thing as the "perfect Godly citizen" so we should all just put that behind us and start accepting that we make mistakes and must simply benefit and learn from them. Then, use those mistakes in your testimony to maybe inspire something inside of someone. Vague? Yes but that's the beauty of the unknown. You never know how your testimony could spread and effect others.

This post is a little unorganized and chaotic but I really just want to end with this. I've been through a lot and it has led me to where I am today. WHY in the world would I hide my biggest passion, Jesus, from the rest of the world? Even more, my community of friends/family? I've decided I'm going to stop caring about people in high school's opinions of my faith. If you think I'm a goodie two shoes Christian girl, not only are you wrong, but you are wasting your time with those thoughts. If you have any questions, ask me! I'd love to talk about it. But from now on I'm going to be, or at least try to be, the person that I want to be. I am inspired by God every day and I'm gonna let people know. Kapeesh?

Thanks for listening, I really appreciate it.
Have a fantastic night everyone!

Frustrating. Conflicted.

It's really hard being a democratic liberal and also actively involved in the church. I feel like i'm constantly disagreeing with the people I surround myself with, and I just wish that we could leave politics out of the equation. It has never been an issue until Occupy Wall Street. I personally believe that OWS does have a rather vague goal in mind, but everyone is angry for their own valid and important point. The beauty of a democracy is that people have a right to protest when things aren't right in society, but they don't need to come with the solutions also. That's what politicians are for, that's their job after all. Americans are just remembering they have this right and are standing up for what they believe will benefit this economy and their children. I think it's a great protest and if you do some more research, you'll see this is a purposeful and awesome event in history and it's about time it happens. Social responsibility is necessary for a democracy to work and that's what these people are accomplishing.

NOW THIS IS MY OPINION; but I respect and appreciate those of you who disagree and have valid factual points! That's great, it means you're trying to be involved in what's going on in this country. And it's ok to disagree. I'm just expressing my frustration right now and felt the need to type it out on here rather than on someones wall where I'll get ridiculed.

I hope I didn't lose any readers.

:D

Phil Wickham

His music always gets me through whatever obstacle I'm facing, whether it be big or small. As a high school student, it's easy to get caught up in the craziness and stress of school work. I am prone to anxiety, and I know it's very common so here are two songs that really are keeping me going strong. I just need to remember the bigger picture, I'll be the first to admit that it's hard to do that. My head is always wrapped up in small or melodramatic issues. It's time for all that nonsense to subside.


Beautiful

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/p/phil_wickham/youre_beautiful.html ]
I see You there hanging on a tree
You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me
Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, You're beautiful



This is the day

Can you hear it?
The gentle voice of the Spirit
There's no reason to fear it
He's calling You to life

Just surrender
Run into the arms of the Father
The night is finally over
Take a step into the light

This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing
This is the day
The day when life begins

Can you see it?
A light shines into the darkness
Bringing hope to the hopeless
It's leading you to life

This is the day
When all your sins are washed away
In the waves of His unending grace
Forever you're alive

This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing?
This is the day
The day when life begins

Have no fear, salvation has come and he is here.

The community I live in is beautiful.

Tonight at the Leedy Grange next to bales and off of Saltzman was another Young Life club. The theme was western, which made me really excited because I love anything country and my eyes are rather fond of cowboys ;) Anyway, after a really great club with a skit that I was in (only slightly embarrassing) and a testimony from a strong young man who happens to be one of my best friends, something really beautiful happened. My friend Kendall and I had been wanting to pray with Luke about some things that are going on right now in his life, and so we decided to take him aside after club and pray. However, a few more of our friends were in close proximity so I asked them to join. I wasn't sure how comfortable everyone was with praying out loud, but every single person stepped up and had something encouraging and motivating so say for Luke. I teared up at the sound of my close group of friends and YL leaders prayers. It was magnificent. Moments like these make me want to freeze time, and just thank God for everything. And I mean everything. Every moment that has led me to where I am, right now.

Jesus changes everything.

Also, my friend Annie and I are planning our trip to Africa to work in an orphanage a few days after graduation this summer. It is actually going to happen this time. My excitement can not be contained for very long. Hopefully convincing Bob that I can do this won't be too big of a hassle.

Final insight. The war in the Congo is real, and it's possible to end.

WWW.FALLINGWHISTLES.COM <--copy and paste this into your web browser

watch, listen, read, understand, give.

Thank you

The connection

Divine Romance, Phil Wickham

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

This is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. Thank you Haley for showing it to me. I wish every day I could remember that God's grace is all around me and that I want to be able to show my love for him, in all I do wherever I go.

Reflecting back on the past year or so, more than I could describe on a quick blog post has changed. All the trials and chaos that I endured was by the grace of God, and it made my stronger and wiser. If you knew me last year compared to now, it's been a very good transformation. I no longer think I am always right, (actually I'm typically always wrong) I try not to ignore "that one kid" in the halls or at lunch, I've let go of the grudges I've held on to for so long, and I've grown towards the person that I want to be in the future. I just really can't wait for college and all the opportunities it will bring. If I could be a nurse, I think I've decided that is my dream job. I just feel like I've been so blessed that I want to go as far as I possibly can in life. My lit teacher is such an inspiration to me as someone who has done as much as he can in life so far and is still going strong. I want to be that woman who never stops, never wastes a fragment of time. Why not start now?

SIMPLE GENIUS

There's nothing better than listening to a song and realizing it COMPLETELY applies to your life, perfectly and beautifully.
Honestly, to all people who hate T Swift, she honestly is my go to girl and has helped me through so many sleepless nights. SO HA! One life changed by a decent voice and excellent yet simple words.

ALSO-this picture just brought me to tears. Haley and Kendall's baptism. I never noticed they were in the background! I thought this picture was just of the friends who came to support, but it's so much more :) I love you all.

Refreshing

I realized today that probably only a few people even read this, and only every once in a while. At first I got a little upset at this thought, but then I changed my mind. I write here for me. If that sounds selfish, that's not the intention. Yes, I hope maybe something I write is beneficial for a soul or two out there, but if not then oh well. My attitude recently has been changing from being a people pleaser to a more healthy balance between making others happy and also myself. I tend to block out my emotions and actual feelings a lot. One of my goals this year is to become more in control, but let God do his work in my life without feeling like I need to control that aspect. Does that make sense? I want to have control over things, but I don't as well. Matthew10:39 "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it". That is what I mean.

On a different note, the amazing group of campaigner girls that I am blessed to be apart of decided to do something challenging and demanding. For the next few weeks we will be dissecting and trying to comprehend every chapter of Revelations in the bible. There's a reason we don't discuss that book in church-people don't want to hear about the other part of the story. However, we can't just pick and choose which parts of the bible we want to pay attention to. We are motivated to attempt an understanding of what God is really trying to say in the text, and how we can apply it to the here and now, in our lives and others. I am proud of my group for doing this. :) Thank you Carla and Holly for putting up with our demands.

Also, I got asked to homecoming in the cutest way ever last night. He set up a scavenger hunt with 6 clues and a puzzle. I've never been asked in such a creative and fun way before. Major props ;)

YOUNGLIFE finally kicked off last week and I can't wait for the next club-WESTERN THEMED! Everyone needs to get pumped up now. I love the community of Young life go-ers, and I should really thank God more for them and the leaders. You are all amazing :)

Goodnight everyone.